A new relationship usually comes with a high sex desire, and you can’t get enough of each other for many couples. For Zodwa Mlangeni*, though, the honeymoon was never over.
Instead, a year into her relationship, she is confronted with an unusual sexual issue. She moans, “My man is obsessed with sex.” “It doesn’t matter what’s going on in my life – work, deadlines, returning home after a night out, being on my period, or even being exhausted – he always wants it.”
THE LINE BETWEEN NORMAL AND OVERDRIVE
According to social researcher Roy Baumeister, your man is likely to have a larger sex drive than you. He claims that men are more sexual than women based on a study comparing male and female sexual practices. “Most adult men under the age of 60 think about sex at least once a day.”
Only around a quarter of women claim to think about it on a regular basis. “Men want sex more often than women at the start of a relationship, in the middle of it, and after many years of it,” he says, adding, “Men want sex more often than women at the start of a relationship, in the middle of it, and after many years of it.”
LANGUAGE OF INTIMACY
According to psychotherapist Esther Perel, males are fascinated with sex because they experience it differently than women. “It’s more about the anticipation and how you get there with women.” Desire is fueled by a feeling of longing.
She claims that “women’s desire is more loaded on emotion.” “Men don’t require nearly as much imagination as women do. That isn’t to say that males aren’t looking for closeness, love, and connection in their relationships. They simply see sex in a different light. Women prefer to speak, connect, and then have sex.
For guys, sex is the common denominator. Men use sex to express their delicate, loving, and vulnerable side. It’s their personal language.”
Even so, there is such a thing as a sex obsession. Sexual fixation, according to Owen Radian of the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity (ATSAC), is an addiction and, like all other types of addiction, such as gambling, alcohol, or drugs, is a sickness.
“It’s becoming more frequent, and it’s ruining lives in the same way that chemical addictions do,” he says.
“People with low sex drives become addicted to sex as well, and it’s not just about watching too much porn; it includes any kind of uncontrollable sexual activity like compulsively engaging in prostitution, social media-driven hook-ups, exhibitionism (publicly exposing parts of your body), masturbation, serial affairs, and repeatedly frequenting sex environments like strip clubs and sex shops.”
SIGNS THAT HE IS OBSESSED
The following are possible indicators that he is obsessed:
An obsessive obsession with pornography, which is generally consumed in secret.
Many sex addicts continue to masturbate after sex.
He has a strong sexual presence and may be a little aggressive at times.
If you refuse to give him sex when he demands it, he becomes enraged and irritable